Character and Looking Out For #1
The grizzled veteran manager proudly declared, “My top priority is to take care of my team.” It sounded like I found a kindred spirit. I believe the leader’s job should be centered on his people.
But what I had discovered was a selfish, hard headed and insecure man. Over time, I learned he was not taking care of his people. He was looking out for #1.
Who Comes First?
When I challenged him on this his defense included, “My responsibilities are to my department not to the other departments around here. I am not evaluated based on their performance.”
Masking A Character Flaw
Looking out for #1 is a character flaw for all of us. Many of us fall into this trap and cover it up with excuses or other diversionary statements.
Some of these claims even sound admirable, but they are lies.
Aside….
I almost used a euphemism like deceptions or half-truths instead of the word lies. But, a lie is a lie- whether I am telling it to others or to myself. Those other descriptions lesson the impact of my dishonesty. Why should I call lies anything else?
Whether I am a CEO, a mid-level department head, or an individual with few leadership responsibilities, putting my own needs above others is a character flaw.
The CEO
The Claim
We take following government regulations seriously and the people responsible for this violation will be fired.
The Facts
The company’s culture was to encourage violation with a to wink and nod. Most of the leadership did not take the regulations seriously.
The Truth about Character
The leader is responsible for the culture of the organization he leads. This CEO is shirking his responsibilities by placing blame on those below him.
He sounds like an innocent man who is trying to clean up other people’s messes. While they are responsible for their actions, he is responsible for the actions of everyone in the organization.
This CEO is just looking out for #1.
The Mid-Level Department Head
The Claim
My top priority is to take care of my team.
The Facts
He wants his team to look good. He is willing to undermine other departments to reach his goals.
The Truth about Character
A leader at this level is part of the leadership team first and his department second. If his department’s goals come before the leadership team’s, he is a flawed leader. His priorities are out of sync.
His claim to take care of his team is a lie to himself and others. His priorities have everything to do with his department’s productivity and his personal reputation and nothing to do with the individuals on his team.
As the leader of his department, the people are the department. If he comes before them, he is a flawed leader. Again, his priorities are out of sync.
This Mid-Level Department Head is just looking out for #1.
The Individual Worker
The Claim
I’ll help out someone if I am asked?
The Facts
She is only willing to help others if it makes her look good to others, or if it does not become an inconvenience to her professionally or personally.
The Truth about Character
A person of high character proactively searches for ways to help those around them. She does not care if others are watching. She also accepts the inconvenience of helping others because her focus is not on her own needs but the needs of others.
Watch someone with a true servant’s heart. They are usually the happiest most fulfilled people you will ever meet.
Her claim to be willing to help if she is asked proves her reluctance to serve others. She too is lying to herself and others. She is only concerned about either her reputation or her comfort.
This Individual Worker is just looking out for #1.
The Bottom Line:
Selfishness is an epidemic in the workplace, in our children and in our homes. The idea that looking out for #1 is an admirable trait or a sign of strength is a lie.
People often attempt to mask their selfishness. I think they believe that their grand statements of selflessness are accepted by those around them. But, in fact those statements only expose another flaw they may have- hypocrisy.
If I claim one thing and consistently act in opposition to that claim, then I am a hypocrite. If someone is selfish, I just wish they would stick with one character flaw and claim their selfishness.
But, in reality most of us have character flaws that are intertwined. One begets another. At the same time, if we change one, the other tends to change as well!
Looking out for #1 is a character flaw. It is a habit that could have been formed in our youth. However, we can changes our habits.
We can decide today to put others first, and tomorrow it will be easier to choose that path again. That is how new habits are formed – one decision at a time.
Question:
What other character flaws would you like me to spend time dissecting?
Question: What is the definition of taking care of your people? Too many leaders make the mistake of thinking “that taking care of your people” means making sure they are happy. That is certainly a small part of it, but I would add that a much more important part is, making sure they are properly trained, understand expectations, held accountable, and work in an environment that gives them a chance to succeed. Sometimes this may not make them happy, but if they meet their business goals…they will probably be happy.
That is a great point Mike! I need to spend time in a blog on that. I have seen it as well. If my goal is to make everyone happy on my team, then I am not a leader. I am probably a politician.
As a leader, at some point, someone will not be happy with me.
I really liked this, Dave. As usual, your wisdom and life experiences are rich pearls. Thank you for freely and candidly sharing them with us.
I’ve worked under many managers in my sales career.
It has been consistently clear that a few have been all about their own agenda and how they want to look to others (i.e., their managers).
In those rare cases, for the sales representative, there isn’t the trust, safety, and camaraderie that would be desirable.
See, I had the awesome opportunity to work with YOU for four years and with others (Alan and Todd, etc.) that greatly inspired me. I never had any doubt that you managers / servant leaders had my best interest at heart. I learned much from you within the “safe” environment you fostered.
Blessings Dorease! Thank you.