Character: Don’t Have a Grandson with a Dog Collar
Direct TV warns us: “Don’t have a grandson with a dog collar.” While I am tempted to blame my issues on the cable television industry, especially their “customer service centers”, I believe my issues, particularly my character issues are internally derived.
Let’s look at my life to illustrate the point. Played out negatively (because it is more fun), it looks something like this scenario:
How I Become a Mad Max Extra
- It starts with my thoughts. Like when someone cuts me off on the highway…(Man, those thoughts can be as ugly as a Mohawk wearing, leather clad, face painted, post apocalyptic Hell’s Angel)
- If those thoughts become my words… (Imagine if my thoughts were tweeted…now there is a dangerous Ap!)
- If my words become my actions…(Road rage sets a bad example for my kids. They catch everything. They don’t need to be on Twitter because they are watching)
- If road rage becomes a regular part of my day…(The daily commute home becomes an endless scene from old Mad Max movies.)
- If I am characterized by habitual road rage…I could have a grandson with a dog collar! (By the way, the extras in Mad Max usually end up eating pavement.)
Seriously though, if this is HOW I am regularly, this is WHO I am as well.
WHO Am I At Work?
- It starts with my thoughts…As I am leaving my house, I begin thinking of the new policy from Human Resources that irks me. (That happened a lot in my big Fortune 50 Company.)
- If those thoughts become my words…While in traffic, I call first one then another of my friends to vent my frustration. (Whom am I kidding? I am whining. Venting is useful once, to a peer. I’m whining when I start repeating myself to anyone on speed dial.)
- If those words become my actions…Instead of offering constructive alternatives to the decision makers, I drag my feet in implementing the policy and mock the HR professionals. (Critics are people with opinions who don’t have the guts or the power to take action.)
- If those actions become my habits…I become THAT guy. The whiner. I am the Eeyore of my peers. The only time people want to talk to me is when they want their own pity party to be validated by someone else. (Isn’t that what all whiners want? Validation.)
- If I am characterized as a whiner…My destiny includes mediocrity, marginalization by leadership and peers, low levels of influence, low levels of employment, and perhaps well deserved unemployment.
What’s The Bottom Line?
Character is our habitual way of operating.
Character:
- Begins with our thoughts.
- Our thoughts become our words.
- Our words lead to our actions.
- Our actions become habits.
- Our habits determine our character.
- Our character determines our destiny.
Question:
How do I develop character worth emulating (click)? How do you see this playing out in your own lives? I’d love for you to share a story about a change you made that over time positively impacted your character.
Dave,
Was it really 33+ years ago we were running around West Point as Army brats playing soccer with Tommy Cindric, Donnie Tillar, Marsha Fishburne (sp?) and the gang?! I like the work you are doing on leadership- like you, having grown up at West Point with a Dad and other fathers nearby who lived leadership, then trying to hone my own skills as a Marine pilot, I have studied the art closely. I have a quote I keep in my ‘idea book’ that in my humble opinion, speaks to the character of a leader: “A leader is best when people barely knows he exists. Not so good when people obey and acclaim him. Worse when they despise him. Fail to honor people, they fail to honor you. But of a good leader, who talks little, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, the people will say, ‘We did this ourselves.’ Lao Tzu
Mike,
I love that quote. That speaks it all so well. This is my passion and something I see as an area of need in today’s world both at work and in homes.
I look forward to continuing our dialogue on these things. I am sure you will make me better.
Thanks for the encouragement. Your comments will help me stay relevant and on top of my game.
What a lovely blog page. I’ll certainly be back again. Please hold writing!
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