Just like any organization, every family needs a set of values. The values in a family may not be on a website or on a poster in the breakroom, but all families would do well to determine what values they hold dear.

Values help organizations and families understand what is most important and what they believe. The time to figure that out is not in a crisis or in the face of temptation. I need to be prepared and my children need to be prepared before the crisis or the temptation comes.

Is my family prepared?

Is my family prepared?

Disclaimer: I realize the term “Family Values” can create a stir in the hearts of a lot of people. The term has been politicized. This is not a political blog. This is a blog that comes from my heart, to parents who are leading families.

The Coming Crisis

There is a crisis coming. Someday we all face one. A crisis is not merciful to anyone. It will challenge adults and children alike.

A solid set of family values will allow each of us in our family to make it through the tough times. Values give us a set of principles to filter our reactions through. How we react in a crisis as parents will go a long way in determining how our children will react to one when they become adults.

Click on the following title to read a related blog:  Staying Strong In A Crisis

The Coming Temptation

If my kids do not know what is important or what we believe as a family, I am rolling the dice when they are confronted by the temptations of the world. Values go way beyond a list of do’s and don’ts that some parents believe are adequate.

I can not set up enough rules to address every decision my kids will encounter.  A strong set of family values can address most of the temptations my kids will face. Values provide everyone in the family a framework for making wise decisions.

The Coming Decisions

Why do some “good” kids go to college and get in trouble?

I am not trying to raise perfect children who follow the rules. I want to raise adults of high character who make wise decisions.

My children will have to make their own decisions when they go to college. The question is, have I taught them how to make wise decisions or just left them with a list of inadequate rules.

Once they are in college, the decisions my kids make will be up to them. Have I prepared them to make wise decisions?

A List of Family Values

This is not a comprehensive list. You may believe in other values or use other terms that fit your family better. Great! This list is a starting point:

  • Integrity
  • Family
  • Love
  • Kindness
  • Forgiveness
  • Trust
  • Service
  • Selflessness
  • Education
  • Faith
  • Perseverance
  • Respect
  • Prayer
  • Courage
  • Hard Work
  • Communication

My favorite ones that I would apply to my family are:

  1. Faith – Without it, we will fail at the rest.
  2. Family – We are always here for each other
  3. Forgiveness – We grant forgiveness even when it is not deserved.
  4. Fortitude – We don’t give up.
  5. Fun – We don’t take ourselves too seriously.

The Bottom Line:

I am failing in one of my primary responsibilities as a leader, if my family does not know what is important to us and what we believe in.

There are three steps that I must take to begin seizing that responsibility:

  1. Define my family’s values
  2. Communicate my family’s values frequently
  3. Coach my family’s values

I go into more detail on these three steps in a recent blog about corporate values that you can read by clicking on the title: Integrity is a Lousy Core Value.

The values we hold dear can be identified based on the behaviors we regularly display. What do I display? What do my kids display? Have I done anything to guide my family towards living out a set of values?

If I have not, should I be surprised when the family or individuals in my family stumble in the face of a crisis or temptation?

To read more blogs on Leadership, Character, Culture, Courage, and Trust click on: www.alslead.com.

Question:

What can you do to intentionally establish family values in your family?