I get tired of people with bad attitudes very quickly. The griping, the moaning, the focus on every negative or potential negative wears me out and makes me want to run away. There was a saying when I was in the Army that stated, “If the soldiers aren’t complaining, they aren’t happy.” But here is a scary thought – What if the complaining finally stopped? Have things gotten better or have the people just become indifferent? If a team is indifferent, that is the scariest attitude of them all.

Indifference is scary

Chronic Complainers

We have all run into “Debbie Downer”. She is always ready to rain on any parade. Her attitude can suck the life out of even the most enthusiastic teams. This is just a person with a bad attitude. Read another blog on bad attitudes by clicking on the following title: The Cornerstone of a Bad Attitude – Self Then there are the chronic complainers. They always have something on their minds that needs to be better. They are often critical of so many things that it is hard for me to take them seriously. But, many of these people are complaining because they care! A bad attitude can be diagnosed by a person’s motives. If their complaints relate only to selfish concerns or self-pity, then it is themselves they care about. That is someone with a bad attitude. If the complaints come from a point of view that the organization needs change to get better, then I need to respect that person’s motives. The motives mean they care about the right things. The chronic complainer often needs to work on delivering her message and including solutions. The chronic complainer also may need to be reminded she loses credibility if the only message she ever delivers is negative.  But…

at least I can count on her motives because I know she cares.

Indifference Should Scare Us All

When people on a team do not care enough to speak up, then I know I am witnessing dysfunction at a dangerous level. Leaders and whole companies can be fooled that everything is okay because people are indifferent.  Consider these quotes:

• It’s a waste of energy. Things are never going to change around here.
• They don’t listen anyway. Why should I say something?
• They claim to listen, but nothing is ever done.
• It’s always been this way.
• When I did speak up, I got dinged for it. No more.
• Whatever. I’m just glad I have a job.
• I show up. I keep my head down. I head home.

I have heard some variation of all these quotes through the years. I hear them in Fortune 500 companies, regional businesses, franchises and family owned businesses. The type of business does not matter.

The issue is the always leadership.

Leaders Need To Pay Attention

If I am leading a team and I don’t hear complaints from my staff, then I am probably out of touch with them. They are either scared to bring them to me, or they have become indifferent. The first thing I need to figure out is “How have I created this issue?” As the leader, I am responsible for the silence of the team. To grow, to get better, and to be a great place to work people must feel able to speak up and get a response from the leadership. Below is an easy workshop any leader can implement at a meeting.

Start, Stop, Continue Workshop

“What do we/ I need to start doing, stop doing and continue doing around here?” Those are three questions that often bring issues to the surface.

• Each person gets a Post-it note pad.
• Each person writes down down 2-3 things to Start, 2-3 things to Stop, and 2-3 things to Continue. Writing each comment on a different Post-it note.
• Designate a flip chart each for Start, Stop, Continue comments.
• Each person places his/her comment on the appropriate chart.
• The leader groups similar comments together.
• The leader facilitates a discussion on the comments. -or-
• The leader leaves the room and has a peer leader facilitate the comments if this is necessary for team openness.
• Then the peer leader briefs the leader in front of the whole team, on the consensus of the comments.

Once the issues are brought to the surface as the leader, I must address them humbly and not become defensive. I have done this exercise many times, and found I was often surprised by some of the perceptions of my team. I also found I had done a poor job communicating with certain people on the team, which often led to the fear and/or indifference. After the air has been cleared, as the leader I must be sure people see changes occur. There are some complaints I have no power to change. There are some issues I will not change for sound business reasons. But, if I take the time to listen and make the changes in areas I can control and my team sees I am responsive to them, the lines of communication will open up.

The Bottom Line:

The best way to avoid indifference is to proactively create a culture on the team where people feel they have ownership and are heard by the leadership. But, for some teams that advice is too little too late. If a team or an individual becomes indifferent, then there is a serious problem. The leader must pay attention and take the time to address the indifference. The best way to address indifference is to really dig for the underlying issues that have created the indifference. Once those issues have surfaced, the leader needs to demonstrate a willingness to stay open and potentially make changes based on the feedback. If the leader works hard at opening the lines of communication and giving the team every opportunity to speak into the issues, then the people who remain indifferent need to find another place to work. They are not doing the team any good, and they are not doing themselves any good either.  It is unfortunate, but some people will never recover, and it is best for all involved if they go. Indifference is a scary attitude on any team or in any relationship.  It needs to be dealt with because it is a silent cancer that destroys from within.

Question:

What do you believe a leader’s best response to indifference should be?