Productive Conflict – What’s Your Angle?
If a team does not engage in productive conflict, I guarantee you they are not coming up with the best solutions.
I sharpen a knife with friction. As I drag a knife across a wet stone, I must maintain the proper angle in order to sharpen the knife’s edge. If I do not keep the knife at the correct angle, I either make it duller, or I have no impact on the edge at all.
Productive conflict is friction correctly applied.
What’s Your Angle?
Congress shows us one end of the spectrum – two sides trying to outshout one another in an all out effort to win. This is like the friction when a knife is applied to a wet stone at a 90-degree angle. The knife gets duller and quickly becomes useless.
Businesses and non-profits often show us the other side – something needs to be fixed but people believe conflict is an inherently negative term so nothing is said. This is like laying the knife flat and never having the blade touch the stone. The knife never gets sharpened and slowly becomes useless.
In both cases, the status quo reigns and Congress, businesses and non-profits fail those they are meant to serve – the country, the voters, the shareholders, the customers, the ill, and the marginalized.
Productive Conflict – Having the Right Motives
Too many people believe the goal is to win. This is why Congress is so ineffective. This is also why you can have stalemates in board meetings or in marriages. The motive of one or both parties is to win. Therefore, the knife (the team) gets duller and quickly becomes useless.
Other people believe the goal is harmony. I have worked with plenty of businesses and non-profits that never face the issues in front of them because they want harmony among the parties. This is why they make few tough decisions and the status quo remains in place even if it is ineffective. Therefore, the knife (the team) gets duller and slowly becomes useless.
What is the right motive for engaging in conflict?
The desire to find the best solution possible!
I must have the Humility to admit my solutions may not be the best, or it may not be possible based on the positions of the other parties involved. As long as I am not being asked to compromise my values, then I must be willing to find the best solution possible with the people on my team.
To read more about knowing when to compromise, click on the following blog title:
When Is It Right to Quit the Fight?
I must have the courage to speak up and challenge the status quo. Sure it may make things uncomfortable, but friction is not comfortable. However, friction is needed to get sharper.
To read more about avoiding harmony, click on the following blog title:
The Bottom Line:
My solution might be the best, but if it is not possible I must be willing to compromise for progress to be made. The need to have my way at all costs is like dragging a knife across a wet stone at a 90-degree angle.
At the same time, I must have the courage to engage others on my team to insure we are not settling for the vanilla, consensus solution just to keep people smiling and comfortable. Friction is necessary for my team to get sharper. I must apply the blade to the stone to create the friction to make us sharper even if a few sparks fly.
In order to have productive conflict, I must examine my motives. If my motive is to win, and only to win, conflict may happen, but it will be destructive.
If my goal is to insure harmony and comfort for all parties, nothing will happen except a slow decent into mediocrity. It all depends on the angle (my motive) for engaging in the conflict.
Question:
What makes so many leaders wary of conflict on their teams?
I agree that conflict aversion is prevalent particularly in non-profit organizations.