“If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.”

-George Patton

Based on this quote, I’ve been on teams that would have made General Patton crazy.  You may have too.  These are teams where people don’t speak up.  Everyone is agreeable and all ideas are good – especially if the ideas came from the boss.

The results:

• Meetings are boring.
• Ideas are vanilla.
• Results are average.

Harmony Can Hurt A Team

By avoiding conflict, teams doom themselves to mediocrity.  Conflict avoidance is the result of making team harmony a goal.

The Wrong Goal:  Harmony

When leaders and their teams make harmony a goal, progress suffers.  A team becomes stagnant when conflict is squelched in order to maintain harmony.  Harmony is a byproduct of healthy conflict.

I make the distinction between healthy conflict and unhealthy conflict this way:

• The goal of healthy conflict is finding the best solution.
• The goal of unhealthy conflict is to win.

In battle and in sports winning is the goal.  While the goal within a healthy work team or family is to find the best solutions to problems.  Unfortunately, too many of us have been on teams where people’s priorities were misplaced.

Their goal was to get their way versus to find the best way.  Therefore many of us see harmony as a good goal because it avoids the unhealthy conflicts we have seen in the past.

Harmony at all costs is a management technique not a leadership principle.  When a leader and/or their team make harmony a goal, it can usually be traced back to:

• Misunderstanding:  Good teams always agree. Right?
• Fear:  I don’t like conflict because it makes me uncomfortable and I may lose.
• Selfishness:  If I voice my disagreement, my boss may not give me a good rating or the promotion I want.

5 Keys To Avoiding Harmony

1.  Communicate-Consistently

Most people have never heard a leader encourage conflict.  Most of the time, it is the opposite.  If I want to alter my team’s paradigm and encourage healthy conflict, I must communicate that goal over and over again.

2.  Train- On Healthy Conflict

Healthy conflict may be an oxymoron for some teams.  In fact, some people have never been part of a healthy conflict at work or at home.  People will not know how to engage in healthy conflict if it they have never witnessed it.  It is up to the leader to train and model what that looks like.

3.  Model- Humility

As a leader, I must be able to accept push back from others and model how healthy conflict works.  I must demonstrate that my goal is a good solution for all not a victory for me.  I have found this is often a test of my humility more than anything else.

4.  Acknowledge- When Healthy Conflict Occurs

Conflicts in meetings or in  private that result in better solutions without unhealthy emotions, need to be acknowledged.  What did the opposing parties do well and how can it be repeated in the future?

5.  Discourage- Silence

“Really?  Does everyone agree with me 100%, without any reservations?”  I heard a leader say this once in a meeting when he asked for feedback from those he led. There was not silence for long.  Sometimes leaders must fight to get to the real opinions of others.

To read more on conflict click on the blog title below:

Productive Conflict – What’s Your Angle

The Bottom Line:

A purely harmonious team can never be an excellent team.  When individuals challenge each other to be better, to think differently and to go beyond the norm, the team will experience growth.

Healthy conflict occurs when people are focused on finding the best way versus just getting their way.  It is the leader’s responsibility to create an environment that encourages the team to find the best solutions.

Because of fear, selfishness or misunderstanding, harmony becomes the goal of a leader or a team.  To change that culture, it takes a leader who is willing to communicate, train, model, and acknowledge healthy conflict.  It also takes a leader who will not accept silence.

Question:

What conflict are you avoiding? Why?