Bad Attitudes – Entitlement and A Cure
“I deserve more!” A lot of dysfunctional attitudes can be traced back to this one statement. It is another way of saying, “I am entitled.”
When I am not happy with my day, my week or my life, I can usually trace it back to a feeling of entitlement. The belief that any of us are entitled to more than we already have is a recipe for a pity party. As a leader at work and at home, I am not entitled to anything! Especially a pity party!
Be Thankful!
The entitlement mentality is crushing western society, especially the United States. I see the complaining and protests from all ages over ridiculous things in the news. I do not see this as a generational thing like some people do. The older generations were responsible for raising the younger ones. So be careful throwing stones in glass houses.
Most bad attitudes come from an inflated sense of importance. The arrogance that we display when we believe we are not getting our fair share of anything, is startling if you have ever visited a developing country.
Changing bad attitudes does not require us to think less of ourselves but to think of ourselves less.
When my son was 14 years old, we were able to send him on a trip to Uganda with his school. He wrote a blog about the joy of the people he met there.
Read his blog by clicking on the following title:
#Prouddad, #Service, #Simplicity
His take home lesson: “They have so little and are full of joy. We have so much and are so unhappy.”
The people in Uganda were born there. They believe things can and should get better. Yet they have a great attitude about life because they are thankful for what they HAVE and not focused on a self-inflated idea of what they DESERVE.
The problem is most of us will never visit a place where just getting to eat, makes it a good day. We have grown into a society that believes we need MORE to be happy. But that is the entitlement belief that creates the bad attitudes and pity parties that keep us from persevering and growing.
A Cure for Entitlement
The first cure for the entitlement belief that leads to bad attitudes is to visit a less fortunate people group outside of the western culture. You will witness how the lack of entitlement allows joy to shine through.
The other cure, and the one we can all afford to try, is being thankful. Thankfulness cures a lot of bad attitudes. When I start listing all the blessings in my life, I realize how good I really have it. The negative circumstances that are outside of my control pale in comparison to the positive blessings I get everyday.
- I am thankful for a roof over my head.
- I am thankful I have access to food when I want it.
- I am thankful for clean water.
- I am thankful that my wife, my children, my sister and my parents are healthy.
- I am thankful I live in a country where I have a doctor in my town (1000’s actually).
- I am thankful that I am physically able to earn an income.
- I am thankful I have a car, a computer, a phone, and a refrigerator.
- I am thankful I have firemen, police and a military that protect all these things that many people take for granted.
- I am thankful that I have a son who wrote a blog that reminds me to be thankful when I behave like I am entitled to more.
I encourage anyone who is having a bad day, a bad week, or a bad year, start a list of the things you do have instead of focusing on what you don’t have. Thankfulness is a cheap cure for entitlement and an easy path to joy.
The Bottom Line:
It is Thanksgiving week in the United States. Thanksgiving is a holiday established so we can all pause and be thankful for the things we DO HAVE in life instead of focusing on the things we think we SHOULD HAVE in life.
Perhaps if we spent 364 more days a year focused on our blessings, we would not complain as much about what we do not have. As part of an older generation (Ow! That hurt.), it is my responsibility to model the thankfulness that will defeat the entitlement beliefs of our culture.
If we all model thankfulness to those around us, the whiners and the complainers will lose steam. They will witness that thankfulness is what brings joy, not getting what they think they deserve out of life.
Question:
Who do you know that has a good attitude, even in the midst of a bad circumstance?
“Spot-on” !
Everyone should hear this, read this, or think this every day (maybe twice a day, or more..) .. and internalize it.
Pop Culture and the media bombard us with the notion that you Are what you Have..(whether it be material items, power, position, etc.) … and that it’s never enough. -Leads to frustration, poor self-esteem, and yes, bad attitudes aaand bad behavior.
The attitude of thankfulness can cure a lot for people who complain .
Excellent Dave. This has really been on my mind lately. After studying Daniel, I came to the realization that he was taken prisoner at 15 as a slave, possibly made into a eunuch, interpreted two dreams and a floating hand – all of which could have got him killed, watched his buddies get tossed into a fire, got himself tossed into a lion den and had multiple visions that were so disturbing he even passed out after one. Yet he was kind and respectful to everyone around him, professional, diligent in his job, steadfast in his beliefs without being haughty, etc. He had character.
Yet we (maybe it would be better said, I) get grouchy when the internet is running slow or dinner is leftovers (again).
Maybe it is only me but I think there is a real market for “How can I be thankful today.” I would love to hear more because I know I need it. Keep up the great work on this topic.
Thanks Eric! I think we all struggle with this in our culture where we think we “deserve” more. You are not alone my friend. I’m right there with you.