Lying, cheating, and cowardice, are all habits that can become addictions in the same way smoking, drinking, pornography and drugs can become addictions.

I have often used the latter to explain how our character habits are formed.  But last week I heard Pete Hinojosa (www.petehinojosa.com) speak on leading and coaching people.  As he discussed a leader’s role in affecting the beliefs of his people he defined addiction:

An addiction is a compulsive belief or behavior that brings short-term benefit but creates long-term problems. 

What am I addicted to?

Habits and Character

My character is the sum total of my habits – my good habits and my bad habits. 

HOW I am, is WHO I am.

It does not matter who I claim to be, or who I think I am.  The behaviors I repeat over time are my habits – the good ones and the bad ones.  Those habits form my character.

The Addiction Cycle

Pete Hinojosa definition of addiction makes a lot of sense in the context of smoking, drinking, pornography and drugs.  Each of those things brings some sort of pleasure or benefit to an individual – in the short-term.

In the long-term, healthy bodies are destroyed, marriages and families are ruined, and lives fall apart.  There are too many stories in the news and even weekly TV series that highlight the damages these addictions cause and the difficulty people have breaking the cycle.

Why would anyone START down this path?  Very few people these days are uninformed about the dangers of smoking, drinking, pornography and drugs.  But they do it anyway.  After the first time, there may be some regret, but that first decision makes it easy to make the same decision again.

Each time a person makes a decision, it gets easier and easier to make that same decision again.  That is how a habit is formed.  Things become an addiction when the belief or activity becomes compulsive.  There is no thought involved.  It is just what they do.

Smoking, drinking, pornography or drugs are habits that are hard to break.  Once something becomes an addiction, that cycle is even tougher to overcome.

Bad Character Habits Are Addictions

Lying, cheating, and cowardice can be habits as well.  They can also be addictions.  They can bring some short-term benefit, but all create long-term problems.

Why would anyone START down this path?  Again, very few people are uninformed or believe these behaviors are good.  But, they do it anyway.  Again, after the first time, there may be some regret, but that first decision makes it easy to make the same decision again.

Each time a person makes a decision, it gets easier and easier to make that same decision again.  That is how a habit is formed.  Things become and addiction when the belief or activity becomes compulsive.  There is no thought involved.  It is just what they do.

Bad character habits are hard to break.  Once something becomes an addiction, that cycle is even tougher to overcome.

Lying

Short-Term Benefit

• Avoiding conflict, inconvenience or discomfort
• Avoiding challenging situations
• Appearance of competence or excellence
• Gaining love, trust and respect of others

Long-Term Problems

• I lose trust – people sense I am lying even if they can’t prove it.
• I can’t be counted on – people will ignore me when they need help.
• I don’t grow – I can’t grow without challenges.
• Huge failure – I fail when a big character test comes.
• I hurt people I love and respect – once I am discovered, the damage is painful.

Cheating

Short-Term Benefit

• Success
• Recognition
• Reduced Effort

Long-Term Problems

• I don’t learn or grow – becoming a better cheat is not growth.
• I lose credibility – even my real accomplishments are questioned once I am discovered.
• Cheating becomes work – the more I cheat, the more complex life gets.
• Huge failure – I fail when a big character test comes.
• I hurt people I love and respect – once I am discovered, the damage is painful.

Cowardice

Short-Term Benefit

• Avoiding conflict or inconvenience
• Things don’t change
• I remain comfortable

Long-Term Problems

• I live in fear – worry and anxiety become part of who I am.
• I am left behind – others move on because the rest of the world is changing.
• I only look out for myself – my comfort takes precedent over the most important people in my life.
• Huge failure – I fail when a big character test comes.
• I hurt people I love and respect – once I am discovered, the damage is painful.

Breaking The Addictions

The addiction to lying, cheating and cowardice is different from the addiction to smoking, alcohol, pornography or drugs.  The latter definitely involve a physical component to the addiction.

Bad habits of character do not need any sort of intervention to help with a physical component to the addiction.  They mainly require us to have the desire to change and the will and perseverance to change our behaviors.

The Bottom Line:

If I compulsively lie about even the littlest things in my life, I may need more help than will power.  For me, I had to and continue to drop to knees and ask God to provide me with the will and perseverance not to fall back into my old character patterns – my old addictions.

Yes, addiction is a strong word.  Some of you reading this may think I am overstating the severity of our behaviors.  But read Pete Hinojosa’s definition again:

An addiction is a compulsive belief or behavior that brings short-term benefit but creates long-term problems. 

I don’t think I am too far off when I discuss lying, cheating or cowardice.  This recovering addict knows I am just one bad decision away from slipping back into my old patterns.  Those behaviors can destroy WHO I am.  That is why I must guard HOW I behave.

My character is the sum total of my habits – my good habits and my bad habits.

HOW I am is WHO I am.

Question:

What other behavior can become a bad character habit that becomes compulsive – an addiction?