In this political cycle in the United States, Donald Trump has raised (or should I say lowered) the bar when it comes to conflict.  His sophomoric responses to reasonable debate are mirrored by a lot of people on both the right and the left on Facebook.

Classless conflict is not a new phenomena.  Our society has been on a steady slide towards this mentality over conflict for many decades.  Can we stop the politicians from acting like children?  No.  But we can stop our children and ourselves from acting like politicians.

Social media has become the playground for people who do not know how or choose not to share an opinion without making the opposite side look like a villian or an idiot.

This has bled over into debates on college campuses as well.  The video of a Yale student screaming obscenities at a college professor during an impromtu debate was a sad indictment of how our society approaches people who have differing opinions.

Why Do We Scream and Demean?

People scream and demean others because of fear and pride.  The harder I scream and the more I make fun of the the other person, the less likely they are to respond in a way that makes me look bad and therefore – I win!

It takes Courage to enter into a debate with someone who might have a differing point of view.  They may make strong points that I can not refute.  It takes Humility to actually listen, to compromise and find a solution, or even agree to disagree and walk away as friends.

Scalia and Ginsburg Have Class

The death of Justice Antonin Scalia, has brought to light his remarkable friendship with Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. They are an example of how people with character should handle their philosophical differences.

They rarely agreed on anything having to do with politics or the role of government in the lives of American citizens.  They approached their jobs on the Supreme Court from opposite sides of the Constitutional spectrum.  But they were close friends.

They attended opera’s together. They even wrote an aria together that they performed for their collegues on the court detailing their disagreements.  They were as close as two people could be, while coming from two sides of the political spectrum.  They are a great example of how people with differing opinions should handle their differences.  

It is time for all of us to follow their lead and not the lead of people like Donald Trump and the other politicians on both sides of the aisle, who have lost the Courage or the Humility to debate without the ugliness.

The Bottom Line:

Productive conflict takes Courage and Humility on both sides of an argument.  We must model productive conflict for the people within our circle of influence in order to change the trend we are seeing today.

How we approach conflict says a lot about our character.  Do I have the Courage to debate on the issues instead of making the debate personal?  Do I have the Humility, to actually listen to another person’s point of view and consider it merits?

Let’s be honest, most people who have a different opinion than we do are not evil.  They are not immoral.  They are not stupid.  Most of them want the same results.  They just see a different way of getting there than I do.

Productive conflict makes us better and sharpens our intellect and our character.  What we are succombing to now dulls them both.

Read more about productive conflict by clicking on the following blog title:

Productive Conflict – What’s Your Angle

Let’s clean up the chatter on social media and teach our families to do the same.  Maybe – just maybe – the policians will grow up and follow our lead.  At least we can impact the next generations behind us.

Question:

How can we better respond to someone who wants to make a disagreement personal?