We are not going to candy coat this blog with euphemisms. Let’s just be honest with ourselves. A liar tells lies. A coward is too scared to do what is right. An egomaniac puts himself first.

When we use a euphemism to describe our behaviors, it is usually a tool to make us feel better about ourselves. We are not going to do that here. Let’s leave that to the politicians who say they “misremembered”.

Our character is a work in progress. We all have work to do. But, what should we be working on and where should we start?

What Does Character Look Like?

Integrity, Courage, and Selflessness.  These are great traits to pursue if we want to be a person of high character.

Some people may add other traits to the list. That’s fine. Even though we focus on six traits in our book Becoming a Leader of Character, we are going to focus briefly on our pursuit of Integrity, Courage and Selflessness.

So how are we doing with this pursuit? Do we talk a good game but justify our true behaviors with excuses and euphemisms?

The First Step Is Admitting We Have A Problem

I am a recovering liar, coward and egomaniac. We are not going to discuss an entire 12 Step Program. We are only going to focus on the first step of most 12 Step Programs.

First let Miriam Webster define the problem:

• Webster defines lying as – marked by or containing falsehoods.
• Webster defines cowardice as – a lack of courage.
• Webster defines self-centeredness as – being concerned with only your own needs and interests.

Again, let’s eliminate the euphemisms that candy coat our character. Read the list below.  If we have used these words or done these things, we need to admit that we have a problem:

We are lying if we:

• Tell White Lies: “I have a meeting then.”
• Use Half-truths: “I told her most of the story.”
• Tell a Fib: “I have to leave early to get the kids.”
• Tend to Exaggerate: “I played a big role in our success.”

If my behavior is marked by or contains falsehoods, I am lying and I am a liar!

We am displaying cowardice if we:

• Avoid confronting a co-worker about her inappropriate behavior.
• Stay silent because we are afraid of our boss’s response.
• Allow a subordinate to intimidate others on our team.
• Don’t admit our own failures and never ask for forgiveness.

If my behaviors display a lack of courage, it is cowardice and I am a coward!

We are being self-centered if we:

• Choose not to help someone because it is inconvenient at the moment.
• Am concerned whether we will receive the credit we believe we are due.
• Focus on our career advancement over what’s good for the team.
• Speak over the top of others, cut them off, and/or dominate conversations.

If our behaviors display that we are only concerned with our own needs and interests, it is self-centeredness and we are an egomaniac!

www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
Take the test! It’s FREE and PRIVATE!

How Do You Answer These Questions?

1.  If it is not the truth, then it must be a __________.

Answer: LIE

2.  If it is not courage, then it must be _____________.

Answer: COWARDICE

3.  If it is not selflessness, then it must be __________.

Answer: SELF-CENTEREDNESS

The Bottom Line:

Perfection is not attainable, but improvement is. When we candy coat our character, we will not improve. We cannot begin to grow until we admit that we have a problem.

The euphemisms and excuses we use to justify our behaviors prevent us from making the changes necessary to change our character for the better.

Our character is built upon our habits – our good habits and our bad habits. Most addicts will not stop their destructive behaviors until they come to the point where they admit to having a problem.

Once we admit we have a problem, it makes it easier to make the choice to change our behaviors. Every habit is formed one choice at a time. Each time we choose to start or stop doing something, it makes it easier to make that choice the next time.

Soon a new habit is formed. The question is, is it a positive habit or a negative one?

But, first we need to admit we have a problem.

Hi. My name is Dave Anderson.

I am a recovering liar, coward, and egomaniac.

Question:

If someone is not telling the truth, acting with courage or acting selflessly, what would you call it?

You can purchase Dave’s best seller Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook

Or get a personalized signed copy here:  Signed Copy