A Tribute: To A Fallen Friend And Hero
My best friend, Donnie Tillar convinced me to go to West Point. He was a year older than I was. Thanks to his persuasiveness I joined my childhood friend as part of the Corps of Cadets. This is a Memorial Day tribute to Donnie.
This is worth reposting annually.
Donnie And Dave Graduation Day
A Memorial Day Tribute
In February of 1991, Donnie’s Blackhawk helicopter was shot down in the last hours of Operation Desert Storm. It took a few weeks before I got the word in a letter from my father. We did not have email then.
I kept a journal while I was part of Operation Desert Storm. Below is an entry from my journal on March 14th, 1991. I was a young, brash and broken 25 year old 1st Lieutenant in the Field Artillery when I wrote this.
I read this journal entry at a memorial service I organized with some high school friends, back in May of 1991.
I now share it every Memorial Day Weekend here. Memorial Day is a day reserved for our men and women who have died in service to our country. It is a day to thank those men and women and their families who have sacrificed so much so you and I have the freedoms we enjoy.
Day 151 In Country 14 March 1991
Today I cried, I screamed, I shook and a part of me died. I got a letter from Dad telling me that Donnie Tillar had been killed when his Blackhawk was shot down over Iraq. The details are sketchy as to when and what mission he was doing.
I’m just so shook up by the whole incident. Donnie and I go back to 7th grade. We were inseparable. He’s the closest I ever came to having a brother. Dad said he learned in Vietnam that it was always the best ones who got hurt. Now I know the true cost of war.
In a way, I idolized Donnie. He could accomplish anything he wanted to. He was the best athlete I ever knew. He could play any sport. He was smart. He made Dean’s List constantly at West Point without really seeming to try. He could dance. Man could he dance. The ladies loved him. I loved him. I still do.
When I heard, I couldn’t stop sobbing. I grabbed my Walkman and walked about 2 KMs. Then for about an hour and a half I just walked in circles. I yelled, I cried, and I sang. I was listening to the Rolling Stones Hot Rocks. Donnie loved The Stones. I sang at the top of my lungs, by myself in the middle of the Arabian Desert. I talked to Donnie.
After a while, my mind turned to our adventures together. I began to smile. Then I found myself laughing and crying at the same time. If that is possible.
I returned to my vehicle in a state of numbness. But I began to tell everyone and anyone, Donnie and Dave stories. They just came flowing out of me. When Donnie and I got his parents’ car stuck in the snow ON TOP OF THE SKI SLOPE. Donnie and I driving away on his motorcycle with a case of champagne after work at the Hotel Thayer. Donnie and my trips to Stowe skiing and the hell we put his Dad through. And, the story about whenever we’d go out Mrs. Tillar would roll her eyes when she found out he would be with me, while my mother did the same when she knew I’d be with him.
Now the beat goes on. I’ll be telling people about my best friend Donnie Tillar for the rest of my life. My first son will be named after a true hero and a true friend. Donaldson Preston Tillar III.
I am going to have a party for him. In his honor, I want to gather his old friends and old loves together for a big blowout. He’d love to be there. But, he’ll be in a much better place. All we can do is raise our glasses and drink a couple for a man who touched all of us. A man with a penchant for fun. A man we will all miss. A man I will fondly remember as the brother I never had.
Post Script:
I have a 21 year old son named: James Donaldson Anderson. He and his twin sister were born 6 years to the day (March 14, 1997) after I originally wrote this journal entry.
In November 2012, Donnie’s younger sister Lani got married. I had the honor of officiating her wedding and being with her whole family. Donnie was there too. We all felt him.
Remember our fallen heroes and their families.
Not just on Memorial Day, but every day in your prayers.
Thank you for your tribute, and sharing your heart with your readers. Blessings to you.
Thank you Kelly. I always want others to remember what our veterans sacrifice and what their families encounter.
Hey Dave it’s Ted Janusz. For some reason I started thinking about Donnie and I pulled up this magnificent tribute! How have you been for these last 30 something years ha ha?
Aloha
Ted
Ted,
Great to hear from you. All is well here. Married 23 years. 20 year old boy/girl twins in college. I am a blessed man. Great to hear from you.
Thanks for your transparency in sharing this. We all forget that our freedom has been paid with a price, a tremendous price. Your friend Donnie is a true hero.
My thanks also to you for your service to our nation. I live well and sleep well because of great men and women like you.
May God bless all of our troops, today and always.
Thank you Steve. Blessing to all those serving us now.
Wow, Dave. This post moved me to tears. Your raw emotions bring home the cost of war and the pain of losing such a precious friend. Thanks for reminding me what sacrifice means. May Donnie’s memory continue to bring you joy.
They always do. Thank you. My son is a great legacy to Donnie’s life.
I know Donnie is looking down and smiling at you, Dave. God bless him, and you!
Thanks Sharon. I know his sisters feel him from above.
Think of Donnie so often. Whenever we go to his grave, the kids have to listen to my Donnie stories. I know you all were so close, and probably not a day goes by without you thinking of him
They are all great memories that I keep alive by sharing with my kids…well not all of them :).
I am glad you get to go to his grave. Living in Texas makes that difficult. My Best and blessings.
Dave
Dave,
Speaking as an Alumni from Kansas State University and our men’s lacrosse team, Donnie is close to our hearts as well. While stationed at Ft. Riley, he was our first coach back in ’89. Every year we host a tournament in the fall in his honor. His family has been in attendance several times over the years, and we’ve had helicopters land in the stadium from Ft. Riley occassionally. It’s great to know that Donnie was so loved and that his memory will live in so many people’s hearts.
Eric
Donnie and I grew up together and he taught me to play lacrosse. I played in HS because he gave me my first stick. I know his legacy there with your team. His dad is proud of that legacy. Thanks for reaching out.
Dave
Dave,
I know I’m REALLY late to this, but I knew Donnie as a kid when my father was the PAO at West Point. I played lacrosse with him on the West Point team because O’Neill HS didn’t have a team. I vividly remember what an amazing attackman he was and hated playing defense against him in practice. His name came up as I was watching a special on the West Point GC and there was a general who mentioned his name as a classmate who was killed in Iraq. He will forever be in my memory,even if he was still here. He was what my father referred to as “good people”. God bless him. I only wish I got to know him like you did.
Dave, thanks for highlighting this on Michael Hyatt’s blog. Thanks as well in offering a glimpse of your younger self in a painful moment.
I appreciate the encouragement. It is good to remind myself of those younger years.
Donnie was a true american hero, friend, and leader. While he was young when he went off to war he made an impact on so many people, leaving a legacy behind. I am part of that legacy, while I never met Donnie, I joined the Kansas State Lacrosse team the year after his death. Through Donnie’s contribution to shaping that team, KSU Lacrosse players have gone on to expand the sport through out Kansas, with the line share of Highschool coaches in the area x-KSU. I feel every young lacrosse player in Kanas has a little bit of Donnie going through them. He was certainly one the best.
That is awesome Matt! To round it out, send some of those Kansas HS lax players to West Point! That would close the loop for the Tillars!
Thank you Dave for these words about Donnie. I was a player when he was a coach at KSU. I had the wonderful opportunity to meet and get to know Donnie. For this I consider myself very fortunate. He was all that you said and more. I miss Donnie. He was one of the few people I have met who was everything a guy wants to be: handsome, funny, smart, and athletic. I pray that his father, mother and sister know that he lives in our hearts. I now can only begin to understand the loss his family must feel as I now have a three children of my own. If his dad is reading this, I hope you know that I hope to be as good of an example of what a man should be to my son as Donnie was to me in college. He does live on in our hearts. By the way, Donnie lived more than most of us do in 80 years. He just had to fit it in a little shorter time span. We all miss him. His memory reminds me to have fun, live, love, and never take anything for granted.
Stu, I will forward this link to Donnie’s parents so they can see all the comments. Thanks.
Wow…Dave that was great…Just reading your words reminded me of the days with Donnie back at West Point. Thank you for reminding us!
Mike C
Dave,
What a beautiful, heartfelt, gut-wrenching letter about friendship and the impact of losing someone so dear has on our hearts! I knew the Tillars too as my Dad was stationed at WP from ’80-84 and then I went to WP in ’88 as a member of the class of ’92. You probably knew my boyfriend, Matt Clark, who was killed in an accident in ’88. The Donnithornes and Clarks were my sponsors. The relationships we forge early on shape us for a lifetime. I am so glad that you keep his memory alive. What a way to honor his life and the impact he has had on your own. God Bless!
Wow Meredith. Thanks for reaching out. I did know the Clarks.
WP is still home to me. Those memories are such a part of who I am. Blessings to you.
Dave, Ann Halloran sent me your post. Many thanks for sharing.
Amazing (almost identically) that you and I had the same reactions on the news of Donnie. The only thing that made it manageable or real was to hear about him from my father.
I too drove into the desert and had the same reactions as you. There was no one who knew him, I went through it alone, and I have never felt so alone. And then, like you, the Donnie and Mike stories came out to anyone within earshot.
Every single time I have climbed into my helicopter, every single time, Donnie Tillar was on my mind. I am convinced he was the extra set of eyes on every mission I have ever flown.
I miss him too, as do you and all who know him. God Bless the Tillars and their extended family, and I hope that our constant memories of Donnie influence on our lives can help just a bit to help soften the pain of his absence.
Well done, Brother. All the best to you and your family. Thanks for your service, Dave.
Mike
Mike,
I am humbled by your response brother. It was a lonely time in the desert that day. You and I have never talked about it all have we. 20+ years later and here we are. I am praying for you Mike. We have a lot more in common than just growing up together and WP. Thanks for the message. And thank you for continuing to serve.
Dave
Dave – I think of Donnie often too. Usually, I think of him Firstie year because that is when I really got to know him. Reading your journal entry brought back the way he would laugh. What I remember most is how much he enjoyed everything and how much fun it was to be around him. Thanks for sharing.
Dave,
Great blog on Donnie Tillar. As you know, I left West Point after we graduated WPES in 1980. In 1984 I was running down the beach in Va. Beach just after graduating high school and who runs past me in the opposite direction but Donnie! We both stopped in our tracks as we had not seen each other in 4 years. When I heard of Donnie’s death, I cried. I had 11 fellow Marine aviators and close friends die during my stint as a Marine pilot in the ’90’s all around the time of Donnie’s accident- I went numb every time. I will never forget any of them. Thanks for sharing such a nice memory, Dave.
I never knew you guys ran into each other on the beach.
He meant a lot to a lot of people. Just like each of your 11 aviators.
What a great story. I only know Donnie through the spirit of his family. I became friends with his sister, Lani, about 4 years ago and have since become to know the Tillars very well. I’ve heard amazing stories about Donnie from his family. It is also nice to read about him like this. I know he must have been amazing because he was a part of the Tillar family.
Thank you for sharing such close details of your dear friendship.
God bless.
Thanks Gail. I am honored to be a friend of the Tillars and Lani’s surrogate big brother.
Dave
What a fine tribute! Thank you also
for posting the photo of yourself and Donnie, my cousin. I think of him very often…
I served with Donnie at Ft. Riley and knew everyone on that helicopter. He was a gentleman officer who beamed with leadership qualities. Every so often, I reflect on my friends who had died that day. They have been a source of strength for me. I am proud to have once called him my friend.
Thanks Patrick. I have the honor of officiating the wedding of his younger sister, Lani, in November. He will be there with us.
Blessings to you and yours…
Come fill your glasses fellows, and stand up in a row…
We miss you Donnie. Here’s to you.
Amen!
Hi Dave-
First off, THANK YOU for your service to our Country and for our friendship! You were one of my dearest HS friends and Donnie was like a big brother to me.
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt message of a heart breaking time.
I think many of us WP ers and O’nell alumni had a similar reaction.
I heard about Donnie’s helicopter n being shot down from my Dad also. I remember where I was standing and the feeling of helplessness and sadness and a numbness for the loss in my heart.
I thank you for the share.
With love and admiration my friend. Xo
Thank you Chrisie. We were all fortunate to grow up where we did and be friends with who we were friends with. A great group is represented in these comments.
Yes, he WAS there on my wedding day…his presence was obvious! And now, as I await Landon Donaldson’s arrival, I feel him with me too. My hope is that Landon looks just like me because that will mean he looks just like Donnie :). Thanks for reposting this…what an amazing tribute to him.
I talked to your mom this week, what a special lady. Come visit us! We love you :). Lani and Don
I love the fact our son’s will have the same middle name!
Dave,
What a beautiful tribute to Donnie, he was quite a guy.
He will never be forgotten by the Clas of ’83
Suzanne Manning Belladone
Dave,
Your tribute is beautiful. It gave me goose bumps & brought tears to my eyes. I wasn’t in your circle of friends, in school. You guys were a little older but I knew of you both, as most going to O’Neill in those days. He may be gone, but never forgotten, especially with a friend like you keeping his memory alive. Thank you for sharing your touching story…
Thank you Danielle
It is so right to remember him and so many others this weekend. I will always remember him roaming the halls of D-3 (to see you, of course) and hearing his laughter. He would knock on my door…and our room would jump to attention and call out “Enter, sir” – and he would pop in his head and say, “Gotcha, Marilou”. This went on for weeks, until I heard him in the hall one night and when he knocked on the door, I opened it up and yelled out “Gotcha, Donnie”. He let out one of his huge laughs, but he never did it again. I did miss those knocks on my door after that.
I spent 1st semester plebe year listening to music in his room with his roommates who became good friends of mine as well. We weren’t allowed to have music in our rooms that first 6 months. It was my haven…
Thank you for sharing this Dave! Donnie was my first love in 6th grade and he was truly everything you described! I think of him often…..
Lots of memories too, from our family. He left a giant hole in everyone’s hearts but his memories make us smile. He is watching over all of us…
DAVEYYYYYY! DONNNNNIIEEEE! How could we ever forget you two goof balls and soul mates belting that out to each other whenever the other came into sight! We had quite the incredible group of friends during those West Point years. Thank you for such a heartfelt tribute and for giving me a little reality check of what this weekend is really all about (I admit I may lose sight a bit since the last, oh 15 years or so has been spent coaching soccer in Memorial Day tourneys somewhere…) I will never forget getting the call about Donnie either….I was weeks away from getting married and leaving to go to 3 weeks of training for State Farm in PA. I had to drive myself that night and was so distraught and distracted that I was pulled over for going well over the speed limit. When the cop came to my window he found me nearly hysterically crying and I managed to barely choke out the news I’d just received. He gave me a hug and said he was sorry….don’t think I’ve ever even shared that with anyone until now. I absolutely love the picture of the 2 of you above…what a special memory. Donnie was one of a kind and he clearly lives on in all of our memories, stories, and legacies by way of your son and Lonnie’s son-to-be!! He’s smiling down on all of it. Marsha
Great memories everywhere. We need to remember but not still mourn.
Your wedding was a great day for me because I was still mourning but got to celebrate your new start. It was kind of a dividing line for me.
Well done. I have considered myself fortunate to be able to look back and learn from the example he set – be it a prank or his commitment to others. He was humble and true. Thanks.
Dave
Well done…you made me reflect on where I was and who called me when I heard about DPTIII (waking up/Zoccs). I had just sent a letter to him in the mail. A few weeks later I got the letter back in the mail unopened. I wish I knew where that letter was now. Just heartbreaking. Thanks for sharing this with all of us.
Zig
Zig,
We will all have another opportunity to remember at the our reunion Labor Day weekend. I did not know that about the letter. That had to be brutal.
Dave,
Thank you for remembering Donnie and all of our true heroes. It is so nice to hear all of the wonderful memories people have of Donnie. Truly a reflection of his kindness and generosity. Because of his good nature, a part of him will live in all of us and make us better people.
God bless Donnie for his sacrifice, and God bless all of those out there defending our freedoms.
Thank you again.
Dan
Amen Dan. Amen.
I am seeing this tribute for the 1st time in 2013 from Lani’s FB post. Thank you for it. Donnie’s dad and my mom (deceased) were 1st cousins growing up in small-town VA; Donnie was my mom’s God-son. I am 55 and remember him as a goofball at the family gatherings but was proud of his accomplishments as we all grew to be adults. I have a grown son, Preston, and I’m so glad Lani’s new son will have Donaldson in his name. Family carries on!
What a wonderful tribute to a fallen classmate and friend. He will be missed and fondly remembered at the Class of 1983 30th Reunion this July 19-20..Thank you for opening your heart and sharing this with us all, and for your service. Donnie’s looking down, and he’s proud of his “brother from another mother”, I’m sure..
Have a great time at the 83 reunion! He will be there!
Thank you for sharing these kind words and memories of Donnie- I am truly blessed and honored to call him my cousin – Your tribute to him is beautiful !!
Thank you. I was 25 when I wrote that entry in my journal.
Dave, I plan to share this again this Memorial Day. Donnie was a special human being, and I am forever grateful that he entered my life, if only for a brief time.
When I started O’Neill, I was a fat kid (still am), very shy, and overwhelmed after spending my entire educational experience in Catholic school, and now being put in a (gasp!) public school. I made some new friends, still had some old ones, but was having a hard time. It was bad enough being the kid everyone picked on, but having very little refuge from the “bad,” it was rough.
Then, mid-way through February, my life was torn apart. First, my mother’s brother died of cancer. Exactly a week later, my beloved father died. My life was beginning to spiral downward into depression. Then, 2nd semester, I found myself in Donnie’s gym class. I was expecting taunts, ridicule, or simple ignoring from the boys -especially senior boys. I was the definition of a nobody. But Donnie – he always said hello to me (even out of gym class), always complimented me…and was always nice to me. That simple action – it kept me going. Gave me a reason to smile…to keep on existing.
That fateful day in 1991, I was getting ready to go on a job interview. I went out and got the paper off the stoop, and read the headline of the Middletown Record, “The Irony of War.” As I entered the house, I opened the paper and read the story…and collapsed in tears. My mother (who had heard from me about that kind boy named Donnie in high school) heard me and came out. I could only hand her the paper, and when she read it, she screamed and joined me in tears on the floor.
I will never forget the kindness and compassion Donnie showed me. I know for certain that he is in Heaven, looking down on his special friends and beloved family, and smiling. God bless you, Donnie…and Dave, too (I hope you don’t mind, but I plan on sharing this on Facebook again this year…it is worth sharing!)…
Sharon- Your story is a great tribute to Donnie and is a great reminder to all of us that our impact on others can last a life time. Please do share this post. I’d be honored for you to honor Donnie that way.
Dave,
This brings back a tough memory that hits me several times each year. I remember that first call home after getting back into Saudi from Iraq as if it was yesterday. During the conversation, my Dad was describing Donnie’s funeral, to which I replied, “Donnie, who?” I had not heard, nor could I believe, that Donnie Tillar had left this world. If I had to rank the departure date of each person in our class from this world, Donnie would have been the last – to me “The All-American Boy” would live forever.
It also brings back wonderful memories of the few moments I was in Donnie’s orbit – he was a such a force of nature! Some of the best laughs I had during those years on the Hudson were because of, or at the expense of, Donnie and his antics. That laugh and smile of his were priceless!
Based on the incredible replies posted on your site it is obvious that Donnie really hasn’t left the world. The positive force of his nature lives on in so many ways in the countless people that he impacted during his brief physical time with us. I am ever grateful to have had a brief encounter with Donnie and his amazing family.
First toast tonight is to Donnie, as well as the many other fallen warriors of past and present. After which I will share a tale or two with my three sons (the tamer ones, so as not to scare their mother) about the legend of Donnie Tillar!
RIP
Cheese
Cheese- My son James Donaldson…knows MOST of the stories. I have held a few choice ones back! Force of nature is correct. I am just glad to have been inside the eye of the storm of influence that was Donaldson Preston Tillar III.
Time flies but it feels like yesterday. Thanks Dave for helping us remember Donnie and all those who made the ultimate sacrifice
JF
You are right. This is a tribute to one that is meant to honor all who have sacrificed for us.
Dave,
What a wonderful tribute! When I think about all of the wonderful memories of you and Donnie at West Point it can only bring a smile to my face. To this day I still have a box full of letters that Donnie wrote to me over the years. I will treasure those memories of the two of you forever.
Always, Leighann
Me as well Leighann! I go back for my 25th reunion at USMA on Labor Day weekend. Every trip reminds me of our time together there.
Dave,
Such a heartfelt tribute. On this day of remembrance, Donnie, his parents and sisters, weigh heavy on our minds. That said, thinking of him-and of the two of you together-never fails to bring a smile. I count myself lucky to have known him, however briefly. His memory lives on with all of us.
with love,
Stacy
A lot of smiles always cross my face when I think about all of us together.
Dave,
Wow, how great of you to share something so deep and personal and beautiful!! Donnie was such a great person and friend. I remember riding around the lake on his bike late at night and always laughing with him. He is missed so much by so many!!
Thank you for sharing and hope you are well.
Theresa
Yeah! Those motorcycle rides gave him the name “Cruiser”. But was it the motorcycle or the fact that it was always good looking girls who got to partake in those rides?
Both I think! Good to hear from you Theresa!
Dave – I never had the pleasure of knowing Donnie but instead got to know you from work. You rarely mentioned your life in the military and definitely never talked about what the costs and sacrifices were to you and others. I only saw the funny side of Dave. Your tribute to Donnie is so moving and heartfelt. You and Donnie were so blessed to have each other as a friend and brother. For those of us who never have fought for our country and lost people who we love, we can only say THANK YOU to those of you who did.
Thank you Mary! I am honored you would check out what I write about. Thank you for your kind words. I hope you are well and thank you for always being there at work when I needed you during those 7 years we worked together.
Thank you for sharing your story Dave. I have many fond memories of Donnie and they always make me smile.
Brigit
Dave – Thank you so much for sharing. I have so many great memories of both of you. When I think of him, you are often right there too. The last time I got to see him we had lunch and celebrated our 21st b’day together. Our b’days were a month apart & we were born in the same hospital. I could go on and on…. but just want to again thank you for sharing and a big thanks to you for your service. Hope this finds you and your family well. oooxxx Monika
Great to hear from you Monika. He is still pulling people together as you can see from the comments above.
Dave,
Our son Rick reposted your tribute today. Not a Memorial Day goes by that I don’t think of Donnie and the entire Tillar family. And how often throughout the year I also think of Donnie. I remember Donnie at lacrosse games and the special energy that he brought to the field. I remember that Donnie was a favorite at the Cadet Store where I worked when you were cadets. I remember the Donnie and Dave stories that I thought were apocryphal but am now learning that perhaps many of them were not since you have just confirmed some of them. But most of all I remember the lovely smile and the twinkle that was always present in Donnie’s eyes as though he was constantly thinking of new ways to surprise and/or amaze others. There are some people who are unforgettable and Donnie was one. Be assured that Donnie always appreciated your friendship and that your tribute has touched the hearts of so many others who never had the privilege of knowing Donnie but who will look at the loss of every soldier in a different light. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you. I got just teared up for the first time about Donnie since I officiated his sister’s wedding last year. Now she is pregnant with a son who will have the middle name Donaldson.
Dave,
Thank you so much for sharing. Donnie was in our company (A-3) and was a great guy!!! This was a perfect way to honor his memory.
Carla
Dave, I’ll always remember the time with you, Donnie & company on the LandNav committee at Buckner Firstie summer. You guys were wild & I was uptight – worrying you’d get into trouble. Later I understood that in Donnie’s irrepressible spirit was the fire of a great leader and friend. War stole the years over which experience and maturity might have helped him shape his flame into a beacon for many.
In the past few weeks we have lost three classmates, including one to suicide and one to cancer – again sadly reminding me that every life takes a unique path. Let the bright memories left to us by Donnie and our other classmates who have gone before us help each of us find our individual paths and in doing so honor them.
You had a difficult job back then Darrell. There were 15 century men on that committee as I remember.
I hope you are well. It is great to hear from you.
Dave, The Tillars were my sponsors (I am class of 82). Great folks who took me into their home and allowed me to visit through Firstie year. I took Lani on her first date (according to her mom Hazel, at least) when she was about 7 and I was a yearling. I think that we went ice skating @ the old Smith Rink. I did not know Donnie that well, but was devastated when he was killed. My family and I were PCSing from Dahlonega to WP after the end of the war, and I really wanted to get to Donnie’s memorial, but could not swing it. As the father of 1 active duty Army LT (WP 2010), 1 Navy ensign (Bucknell 2011), and a Firstie currently @ the Academy (2014) I cannot imagine the anguish that my wife and I would go through were one of them not to return home. I admire Don and Hazel for their bravery and courage these past 22 years. God bless them and their daughters.
Tom- Thanks for connecting here. I will let them know you reached out.
That was a great tribute to a fallen friend. He was blessed with a friend like you.
Dave — I’m not a big Facebook user, so I’m just finding this now, but am so glad I did. I remember standing with you in the Old Cadet Chapel all those years ago when we tried to say goodbye to Donnie and you read those words. I will never have another neighbor or friend like Donnie, and as everyone has said, I miss him still. Always my “boy next door”, his death was such a crushing blow to all of us who were close with him.
On another note…I hope you and your family are well! Thanks again for continuing to put so many positive words out there about Donnie. For those times that I am on Facebook, I and others appreciate reading them and sharing. — Best, Cheryl
Thanks Cheryl. I am sorry I did not see your message earlier.
Hi Dave,
I just read this post, having found it on a roundabout way through Facebook. What a beautiful tribute–thanks for sharing. John and I still tell Donnie stories and I have so many memories of you guys while growing up at West Point. What a special place–we still get back there often as our son is now a cadet. All the memories just come flooding back whenever we are there. Many blessings and best wishes to you and your family.
I know you are proud of your son! What a great legacy he is continuing for the Moellering family.
Thank you Dave. This brought back memories and of course my tears….I love Donnie and will always love him. He was my first boyfriend in 6th grade and will be forever a part of my heart..
Dave,
I went to flight school with Donnie and recently posted a picture of us at Panama City Beach. I had heard that Donnie was killed in Desert Storm. But, I was deployed myself, and never really knew it for sure. Someone asked what happend to Donnie on Facebook, which led me to search and find your post. Thank you for sharing the kind words about Donnie on your site. I pray all is well with you and your family this holiday season.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=768377129883022&set=p.768377129883022&type=1&theater
God Bless,
Greg Childs
Dave,
Just stumbled upon your site today for the first time, and it just happens to be Memorial Day. I regret that I didn’t get the chance to know Donnie too well in school, but I have always been moved by the way our classmates cherished his memory, and continue to do so even today. I vividly remember running into a classmate in some grubby mess tent during Desert Storm and hearing the sad news about Donnie’s passing. It seemed so unfair that such a shining light, somebody so young and full of life, could be taken from us.
Thanks so much for sharing this moving tribute. Well done, brother!
Ed
Thanks Ed! Great to hear from you.
Every year I look for your post about Donnie. He was a true character and I was on the end of some of his teasing ways. He lifted my spirits more than once while at West Point. I loved hearing the two of you walking down the halls in the barracks talking and laughing…it just made it feel like home. His smile was infectious. You two were quite the team! Thank you for sharing and reminding us each year of the sacrifices that others have made for us all. Blessings to you and your family…and thank for the news about Lani’s baby!
Marylou! We all grew up together in HS and at USMA. We had quite a group go through it all together. God bless. It is great to hear from you.
Thank you for sharing your pain, and your love. On this day my heart is so full of pain and sorrow for what war has taken from all of us… Our innocence, our loved ones. Gratitude and thankfulness to all who served and are still serving seems so little. I pray that soon war will never have to be again. Good energy and peace to all.
God bless you and your love for your friend.
USMA ’89 H-1
Thank you Craig! Beat Navy!
Nice one Dave. I was remember Donnie with Mike Stewart the other day.
I have memories of motorcycles bombing up and down Lee Rd. 🙂
All good memories. 25 years ago he went to go ride motorcycles with the angels. If there are motorcycles in heaven I am sure he is on one!
A wonderful tribute to our classmate and great man, 1LT Tillar.
Dave, you’re doing great work and I’d like to re-connect with you sometime.
Gregg Schuliger
Greg,
Thank you. I’ll reach out via Linkedin. Or send me an email – dave@alslead.com.
Dave, just seeing this,lovely! I remember you both well from high school! Donnie was an exceptional person and this is a wonderful tribute to your friend!
Thanks Maura! Great to hear from you!
Dave:
In February of ’91 I wrote essentially the same letter; hard to believe it’s been 25 years. I was Donnie’s fellow platoon leader in 4-1 AVN, 1st ID. Each February I feel the weight of the day when I remember the feelings associated with Donnie’s death (as well as the other members of our company). Believe it or not, during our deployment to Desert Shield/Storm.. we stopped to refuel in Tyler, TX!
God Bless.
Respectfully,
Mark Higdon, COL (Ret) USA
Mark,
Thanks for leaving your message. I am sorry I did not see it when it was originally posted. Thank you for your long service to our country. Thanks for telling me about your connection to Donnie. This post keeps adding more and more stories.
Dave
Hi Dave.
I always read your Tribute to Donnie..and I always cry. I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you on this day. It never gets easy..and I can’t even imagine how it is for you. Thinking of you..and thank you for your service.
Love you Layne! DPT3 pulling us together again!
Dave,
Thank you the post, the transparency, and the reminder of the cost of war, and all the fallen heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice for our great country. May we never forget!!
Deke
Hi Dave,
Thanks for sharing. Each year I have read this post from start to finish. I remember Donnie, mostly because of the “who’s in trouble this week” stories I heard from either your mom or dad. It was always amusing from my point of view, but I’m sure they were counting a few more grey hairs each time.
We keep our friends with us when we remember them. I have a 2nd cousin whom I never met, who was killed in action in WWI, 5 years before my mother was born. We recently found his grave, a stone with no longer visible writing, save for a cameo that still looks as new as it did in 1918. My mother has kept his name alive, through the remembrances of her aunt, and I now do the same for her. My mother’s brother was later KIA over Tokyo during WWII. That was also before my time. And, in similar fashion, we recently discovered that his name is included in the Tablets of the Missing Punchbowl Memorial. I keep his name alive by telling his story to my friends, and have sent them to the Punchbowl anytime I hear that someone is going to Hawaii.
As sad as it may be to recall our missing heroes, it’s good for us to keep our friends and relatives alive by sharing our remembrances as often as we can. I truly believe it changes us for the better.
Sincerely,
Sue Tendy
PS: I was born on March 14th
Sue,
It is always great to hear from you! Those memories are precious to everyone you share them with. They are all of our histories.
3/14 is a good day to be born!
Love you,
Dave