Painful Tests Of A Leader’s Character
Painful Tests = “Someone is going to get hurt.”
In a nutshell: Inflicting pain on myself or someone else is a test of character and courage.
There are some decisions I make in leadership, I know are going to hurt. They may hurt me, or they may hurt others. In these situations, it may not be my integrity being tested. It is most likely my courage.
This Is Going To Hurt
I have fired tenured people who I considered friends, and they never spoke to me again. I have friends who confronted bosses and later were harassed until they left the company. I made a mistake that cost my team bonus dollars and had to confront them and ask for forgiveness.
Every one of these situations hurt someone. I knew there would be pain involved before I made my choices.
Painful Choices
- Do I fire my most tenured person if they don’t perform?
- Do I call out my boss when she does something unethical?
- Do I proactively accept the blame and apologize for an error in my judgment?
This is one of the toughest character tests for me as a leader. Inflicting pain on myself or someone else, no matter how justified it may be, is a test of my courage.
Pain Is Unavoidable
A leader who never consciously makes a decision where someone gets hurt needs to step aside. Leadership is not comfortable. A leader must be willing to be uncomfortable and make others uncomfortable as well.
Don’t get me wrong. There is no joy in these moments. In fact, a leader who does not have some trepidation at these moments needs to evaluate why they are in leadership. But, sometimes the best thing to do for the individual or for the team causes pain.
The truth is, pain is going to come in some form or another no matter what the leader chooses to do.
- My failing tenured employee will negatively influence the performance of the team around them.
- My boss making unethical choices will continue to make those choices until she damages the reputation of everyone around her.
- By not apologizing, I will have a team that doesn’t trust me or trust my decisions. The result will be low performance and higher turnover.
Pain Is Not Like Wine
It is the leader’s responsibility to face these painful tests. As my dad, General Jim Anderson says, “Bad news doesn’t get any better with age.”
Where I failed and where I witnessed others fail too often is putting off the painful decision. Fear can make us all indecisive. But, making no decision is a decision!
What is best for the individual may involve pain. It may be best for the individual to leave the company. They may not see it that way at the time, but that is why leaders need to have the courage to make those decisions, and make them in a timely manner.
If my motives are pure, and I am acting based on the best information available to me at the time, I must make a decision. Each time I act decisively, it becomes easier to do it the next time. With each decisive action, I am forming a habit that shapes my character.
The Bottom Line:
Without courage, a leader is bound to fail. With each courageous decision a leader makes, his character becomes stronger.
At West Point, we were taught to be decisive in all things. We were trained to be decisive in our answers to questions from upper classman, our decisions in the boxing ring, and our decisions on the battlefield.
There was potential for pain with each event. But each time we were decisive, it made it easier to act decisively the next time. The same is true for each painful test of character a leader encounters at work or at home.
Character is our habitual way of operating. If I am in the habit of avoiding painful decisions that makes me a coward. If I am in the habit of facing a painful decision and acting decisively, that makes me a leader of character.
Leadership without inflicting pain on myself or others is not possible. Someone is going to get hurt at sometime. It is my responsibility, when I am leading at work or at home to have the courage to accept that and do what is best for everyone.
Question:
What is the most painful test you have encountered in leadership?
My most painful test – to tell my soldiers, who were about to mutiny over some very bad (and, some would say despicable) decisions made by our CO, that if they take any steps in that direction, I would court-martial all of them. A very challenging time for me as a 2nd LT….BUT, I learned that maintaining order and cohesion is vital when dealing with authority that is broken.
I can feel the pain of that decision. The tests placed on us by poor leadership from above can be brutal. Thanks for that insight. Followership is the foundation of leadership. Sometimes it hurts to follow a bad leader.
If you don’t make a choice, the choice makes you. During my tenure in leadership positions, I’ve learned that indecisiveness rarely produces good outcomes. On the other end of the spectrum a leader who makes rash decisions oftens suffers the consequences of missed analysis. As with most things, balance is key.
Great point. I can be a “ready, shoot, aim” guy. That has it’s issues. So do “ready, aim, aim, aim…” people.
A good leader finds the person who operates differently and gains their perspective.
Dave, Excellent article/blog! I enjoyed reading your material. We all should remember that we attended the world’s most prestigious leadership institution. It is from this inferno that character is formed. A couple of thoughts for you, Dave, from my father: A rose bush will not produce its beauty if you do not prune it. And, an interesting one from a flight instructor: Flight occurs because of friction. I encourage you to re-read Romans 5. To Kevin: You faced the storm and succeeded. After graduating from West Point, I never expected to be confronted with all of the corporate challenges and babble that I witnessed. I will never forget the confrontation I had with a senior flight, Warrant Officer who was clueless about Duty. We are not expected to be successful, but remain ‘ faithful ‘. ‘ be strong and of good courage ‘ Joshua 1 chairo, James ’74
Thanks James. I appreciate your quotes. The pruning of the rose bush goes with the Henry Cloud’s “Necessary Endings”. That is the premise of the whole book.
Dynamite, Dave!! Succinct, on target, with positive guidance for leaders in any field.
Thanks Phil. Succinct and on target are always my goals.
The painful things that I have come across in leadership for me is dealing with my superiors that are either incompetent or not doing their job correctly. While still ensuring that my staff are fully supported.
I have been there. We must control what we can control. How we are with our people and how we maintain our integrity is 100% in our control.
If our bosses want us to sacrifice our integrity, real integrity calls for us to stand up and speak out. If that does not change anything, it is time for us to find a new place where integrity is valued.