The Most Selfish Leadership Move
Leaders are not supposed to be selfish. But, in my job, I spend a lot of time trying to correct the most selfish leadership move a leader can make. And it is not just the obviously self-centered leaders who make it!
Self-centered leaders abound in our culture today. You do not have look beyond the politicians, the athletes, or the entertainers in the news to see selfish behavior. A self-centered leader is easy to identify.
Many other leaders try to put others first. They think of themselves as servant leaders. These leaders believe their purpose is to serve the people they are called to lead. Unfortunately many of these same leaders are selfish and don’t even realize it.
The Move
Perhaps the most selfish move any leader can make is also the most widespread. The self-focused and the servant leaders often perform this move with sad fequency. The Move?
Not Coaching Your People
The most common reason someone does not receive the coaching they need is the conversation would make the leader uncomfortable.
- “I’m not great at confrontation.”
- “He gets so angry if I bring this up.”
- “I don’t want to make it a bigger deal than it is.”
- “She takes up a lot of my time whenever I bring things up.”
- “He’s part of a minority people group. I’m not sure how to handle it.”
The center of each of these excuses is the leader. The leader’s own comfort has just become more important than the growth of the individual.
If we change the words around a bit, the leader is actually saying:
“I know that person needs to get better, but my comfort level is more important than his/her growth.”
When you reinterpret the excuses and uncover the real motivation, it really is an alarming indictment of that leader.
Whether they are an obviously self-centered leader, or a leader who strives to be a servant leader, an unwillingness to coach people reveals a critical weakness in their character – selfishness.
The Bottom Line:
Being a leader is not an easy job. It can push us all outside of our comfort zones. But for the good of the people we lead, we must make the choice to be uncomfortable.
We must choose to have hard conversations with difficult people. We must choose to coach high and low performers to the best of our abiltities. We must put everyone’s growth before our own comfort.
Courage, Humility, Selflessness, and Duty are Habits of Character that must be exercised to be developed. One of the best exercises for developing all of these Habits of Character is coaching your people.
Read the following definitions and see if you agree.
Courage
Acting despite percieved or actual risk.
Humility
Believe and acting like “It’s not about me.”
Selflessness
Putting the needs of others before my own needs, desires, and convenience.
Duty
Taking action based on our assigned tasks and moral obligations.
Question:
What excuses do leaders often use for not coaching their people?
Dave Anderson is coauthor of the Amazon Best-Seller Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home with his father General James L. Anderson (USA Retired).
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