Some people would say we were DAL. I prefer to say we were the team that made the Top 71 teams possible. Unfortunately, there were only 72 teams.

I was pushing every button and using every motivational trick I could think of to improve my sales team’s performance. I had never failed before and I was determined not to fail now. I was contemplating firing some people to shake things up. We needed a change.

Yes – It was a cassette!

The Strangest Secret – by Earl Nightingale

(Yes, it was on a cassette tape!)

But the words of a man named Earl Nightingale, while I was driving on a cold and rainy spring day in Upstate New York forever altered my trajectory as a leader.

“The quickest way to change a team is to change the leader.”

My first thought was, “Oh crap, they are going to fire me.” Then I realized the real message to me that day was that I needed to change. That drive and that cassette tape made me examine what I needed to change in me.

Changing the Leader

Here is a partial list that I came up with at the time. I am sure the poor people on my team that year probably had a much longer list.

  • I am focused on my performance instead of their growth.
  • I am blaming their efforts before looking at my own leadership.
  • I am letting difficult circumstances be an excuse for my failure.
  • I am inconsistent in my attitudes based on the latest sales reports.
  • I am coaching as I want to coach as opposed to as they needed to be coached.

When I look back on that moment, I was truly dealing with only one issue – and the issue was mine:

Pride

As I have said, in other blogs, fear and pride are the root cause of most of our failures in character and character is the cause of most of our failures in leadership.

Click on the following blog title to read more about fear and pride:

The Root Cause of Bad Leadership

Pride was causing me to focus on my own performance. Pride caused me to blame others and make excuses blaming circumstances for our failure. Pride made me moody because each new report reminded me of my failure. And despite all the signs, pride was convincing me that my way was still the right way.

Something needed to change and that something was the leader.

Humility and the Growth of a Leader

Earl Nightingale made me realize I needed to change. I needed to quit acting like the team was there for me and my purposes. I needed to embrace the definition of Humility my father and I use in our book, Becoming a Leader of Character:

Andersons’ 12 Word (or less) Definition of Humility

“Believing and acting like “It’s not about me.”

Humility is a foundational Habit of Character that impacts our other Habits of Character like Selflessness, Duty, and Positivity. Until we believe and act like “It’s not about me”, we will put our own needs first, try to avoid accountability and deflect blame, become negative, and never grow.

If I maintained that trajectory as a leader, I deserved to be fired. But, thanks to the words of Earl Nighingale, I was not fired. I was able to keep my job long enough to change my ways and therefore see the team change.

The Bottom Line:

If things are not going well at work or in my family, the first place I must look is in the mirror. Understanding that I am not the most important person in the room, I am fallible, and I will always have room to grow should drive me to look at the mirror first.

That was an act of Humility that I needed to learn. But just like other Habits of Character, each time I chose to look in the mirror first, it made it easier to start there the next time and a new habit formed. I began to look for solutions inwardly instead of focusing my efforts on everyone else.

Pride will always be a struggle for me, but I win more battles than I used to. The leader of that team changed and the results did as well. I didn’t need to fire anyone and no one needed to fire me. All that needed to happen was the leader needed to humble himself and change.

Question:

When do you need to stop and look in the mirror instead of looking outwardly?

P.S. Our book,  Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home goes to Morgan James Publishing this week for layout design.  As you know, we already have Coach Mike Krzyzewski’s (Coach K) foreword.  We will announce more big name endorsements in the coming weeks!