Three Rules To Leading Peers
“What can I do? If I step up and try to lead my peers, I don’t think they will follow. I’m not as direct as you are Dave. ”
The quote above is representative of a lot of conversations I have inside of companies who ask for my help. There are many people who know they should be a leader among their peers. They just aren’t sure how to accomplish it.
What do I attract?
“But, what if my peers do not want to be led? What if I have never been expected to lead my peers before? What if I have never done it before? “
Peer leadership is not easy for many people because they are stuck on the how. “How do I lead my peers?”
Three Rules To Leading Peers
Leading peers is not easy. Leading peers who are leaders themselves is especially tough. But, whether we are talking about leading peers on the front lines or leading peers in the boardroom there are three rules that will build your influence with your peers.
1. Attitude Attracts Attitude
Whatever attitude I display, I will attract people of similar attitudes. Conversely, I will repel people carrying the opposite attitudes. One way I can lead my peers is through my attitude.
While misery loves company, so does joy. Joyful people attract joyful people. If I see the opportunities versus the challenges, if I see the potential in people instead of the failures, if I look for reasons ideas will succeed versus reasons they won’t, I will attract people with a common attitude.
As I consistently portray a positive attitude, my influence on those around me will grow. We all enjoy spending time with people who have a good attitude. They make us want to be like more like them.
The attitudes I exude attract similar attitudes. A peer with a positive attitude will always attract followers. Conversely, a negative person has few followers.
I must ask myself the old question:
“Attitudes are contagious. Is mine worth catching?”
2. Selflessness Attracts Selflessness
As Rick Warren wrote in The Purpose Driven Life, “It’s not about me.”
If I have not figured out the world does not revolve around me, then I may never be able to lead my peers effectively. Selfishness attracts selfishness and selflessness attracts selflessness.
I think we have all been on a team where selfish behavior reigned. When each person looks out for number one, it is a miserable team to be a part of. But one person acting selflessly has the power to turn a group of selfish peers into a selfless and sharing team.
When one person is more concerned about the good of the team and aiding others, than she is about helping herself, the power of her example increases her ability to influence peers.
I believe many selfish behaviors at work take hold because people think they must act that way to get ahead, or just keep up. But, if I truly want to be a leader among my peers I need to do the exact opposite.
I need to be selfless. I need to realize that my example will motivate others to act similarly. Selfless acts attract selfless acts. I can lead my peers by being selfless. It only takes one person. If I want to lead, then it should be me.
3. Courage Attracts Courage
Who’s going to step forward and act? That first person has Courage. But that act of Courage often attracts others to act courageously as well.
In battle, one person’s courageous example can turn a demoralized unit into an unbeatable force. (See William Wallace in Braveheart or Joshua Chamberlain in Gettysburg,)
In my life, the first time I spoke out against joining 8 guys at a Gentleman’s Club to watch a basketball game, I was joined by 2 of the crew at a local sports pub instead. One person needs to speak up against the crowd. That’s all it takes to inspire others to follow.
Courage attracts Courage. With a group of peers it takes one person to speak up against a poor plan or a morally questionable decision to spur others forward.
To lead my peers, I need to act with Courage and not quietly follow others down a bumpy path. When I step away from that path, I will rarely be alone. My courageous example will attract the Courage in others.
The Bottom Line:
I always wanted my teams to be made up of leaders. A team full of peer leaders is a strong team. On this type of team initiative thrives, accountability is expected, accepted and people are fully engaged.
John Maxwell says, “Leadership is influence.” Among peers, the only way to truly lead is through influence because I do not have positional authority over my peers.
I grow in influence among my peers when they see my actions and emulate them. To be a peer leader my actions will influence my peers more than eloquent words. When I set the example with my Positivity, Selflessness and Courage, I will attract similar responses from those I intend to lead.
Question:
How else can peers lead their peers?
Excellent, easy-to-remember and practical advice for anyone asked to lead his peers. To complement these rules, I would refer to ‘Schoefield’s Definition of Discipline’ as well. This well-known and time-tested instruction on just how to impart orders/directions seems to fit well here.
Another great piece, Dave.
Thanks! Schoefield’s Definition of Discipline could become a blog in and of itself. I may use it for one in the future.