Very few people gravitate TOWARDS someone who is a ball of stress. Most of us like to be around the person who seems to have things under control or at least has a positive perspective on life.  Yet many people walk around strung tighter than a piano wire.

Some people are always stressed, while others always seem calm. Some people are anxious about every decision, while others seem content with the possibility of failure.

As I observe both types of people, I believe there are two self-created issues that set us up for stressful days and nights. They are mindsets that we have control over, yet many of us fail to control.

Being strung tighter than a piano wire is not fun for me or anyone within my blast radius.

What is the stressed person missing? What is it in his/her mindset that needs to change?

1.  No Vision Equals High Stress

An uncertain future can cause stress. The difference between the stressed person versus the calm person is not whether the future is uncertain. The difference is the stressed person’s focus is on the ride instead of the destination.

When we are without a vision for the future, or without an ultimate understanding of what the big picture is in our lives, we only focus on the obstacles immediately in front of us.

When we focus on the far reaching vision and an understanding of what our ultimate goal is, we remain focused on the destination – and today’s obstacles are temporary inconveniences.

If our eyes are focused just over the hood of the car, every pothole feels like a crater! That is what it feels like to have no Vision.

For more on vision click on the following title: Vision: Am I Enjoying The Ride?

2.  Living Contractually Equals High Stress

Some people say, “I am tired of being reactive. I wish I could get out of that mode and be more in control.”

If we look at life as a set of contracts, we will always feel out of control. A contract states, “If you do this, then I will do that.” In that scenario, our actions are always dependent on the actions of others!

With a contractual mindset, we are always reacting! But what if we break the mold and begin to think differently? What if we develop a covenant mindset?

A covenant states, “I am going to do this, no matter what you do.” To live life with a covenant mindset, we have to know what we stand for – what is important to us.

Once we know what is important to us, we can move from being reactive to be proactive. We can make decisions that are based on what we stand for and not based on what other people do! We are in control of our decisions and how we live our lives!

Click on the following title for more on Covenant living/leading: Four Benefits of Covenant Leadership.

The Bottom Line:

Only the immature believe that life should be easy. It is not. But, we can control how we view life by finding a vision for our future and living our lives based on a set of covenant beliefs.

Try an experiment. Ask one of your chronically stressed out friends two questions:

1. What is your life’s vision – your ultimate goal?
2. What best describes your mindset in life – contractual of covenant mindset?

I bet they don’t really have answers to those questions.

If you don’t, then I want to encourage you to find your own answers. When you find those answers, the calm person you always wanted to be will begin to take charge of your life. I promise.

For more on eliminating stress from your life click on this blog title:  How Calm People Stay Calm.

Question:

How would you answer the questions above for yourself?

Dave Anderson is coauthor of the Amazon Best-Seller Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home with his father General James L. Anderson (USA Retired).

You can order Becoming a Leader of Character on Amazon by clicking here:

bit.ly/LOCBook.

You can also find Becoming a Leader of Character at Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million and other retailers.