The softer side of leadership is in vogue these days.  Those softer leadership skills are critical to a leader’s long-term success.  A leader who doesn’t care about his team will one day turn around and find no one following him.

However, problems arise when leaders allow these principles to prevent them from making the hard decisions a leader must make.

Misplaced Compassion Can Kill

When Compassion Kills A Team

Many times when I thought I was being compassionate, I was hurting my team.

Like many young leaders, I wanted to be liked.  I also believed that  you can never care too much about your people.  I still believe that is true.

But, poor performance left uncoached does not go unnoticed.  I am delusional if I believe my team doesn’t already know who is performing poorly.   When the team knows something is wrong the whole team suffers if the leader does nothing.

What Suffers?

My Credibility

If my team sees a problem go unaddressed, I will lose them.  If I don’t address a short-fall, I could be seen as hypocritical, inconsistent, and/or weak.  As soon as any of these adjectives are associated with me as a leader, my credibility dwindles.

Team Productivity

A group will only move as fast or as far as its weakest link.  If the weak link is not coached, team effectiveness and productivity will decline.

I can say my team has certain standards of performance.  But, if I let poor performance go for too long out of misplaced compassion, that is what my team’s standard truly is.

Team Unity

The gossip that followed me when I procrastinated or didn’t act at all, did damage.  Yes it damaged my reputation.  But more importantly, it divided the team.

People wondered if I had favorites.  Some stood by me.  Others thought I should be doing more.  It didn’t matter which side was right.  My unwillingness to act caused division on my team.

I caused unity to break down using compassion as my excuse.  I thought I was being compassionate, but compassion run amuck can kill a team.

Is It Really Compassion?

Compassion or Procrastination– “Let’s give her a little more time.”

Letting a problem fester is not compassion, it is procrastination.

The 1^st time can be a mistake.  The 2^nd time needs deliberate coaching.  The 3^rd time is a pattern.  A “wait and see” attitude is not leadership at this point.  Leaders take action.

Compassion or Gullibility– “She is a good person.  I know it will get better.”

Believing in people is an admirable trait.  But, a good person can still do a bad job.

It is my responsibility to coach the actions of my people.  It does not matter if that person was voted Mother of the Year outside of work.  Her performance on the job is what I must address.

Compassion or Conflict Avoidance– “She got divorced a year ago and is still emotional about it.”

Sympathy in this case is good and right – for a time.

Excusing bad performance at work in order to avoid an emotional conversation is poor leadership on my part.  Notice the shift in emphasis.  Sympathy is about the divorced woman.  Avoiding an emotional conversation is about me.

I now realize one of the most caring things I can do for someone is to point out their short-falls.  As a leader, I am responsible for coaching each person.  Anytime I choose not to coach someone, I am not being compassionate.  I am killing my team.

The Bottom Line:

A compassionate leader inspires trust and loyalty.  However, misplaced compassion will inspire distrust and disloyalty. 

A leader must know how to be compassionate and fair.  At a certain point, we all must overcome our personal issues and still perform to standards at work.

As a leader, I still tend to error on the side of compassion.  But, I know that a person’s biggest strength can be his biggest weakness when used inappropriately.

Question:

What times have you seen a leader take compassion too far?