Why Leaders Don’t Get Better
Leaders of Character Say, “I always have room to grow”
One of the true marks of a humble leader is that he is not the same leader he was twelve months ago. The arrogant leader is stagnant. His way of leading does not change. Some people even boast about not changing their style or methods. Leaders of Character, however, are constantly looking to get better and grow—because they know they need it.
In the end, the arrogant leader gets left behind because the Leaders of Character are secure enough to believe they still have a lot to learn and truly want to get better at their craft.
So, as Leaders of Character we must ask ourselves:
“What have I done to become a better version of myself in the last twelve months?”
If we see a leader who can openly own his mistakes and weaknesses, who truly listens to others and is on a consistent pursuit to become a better leader and a better person, who among us wouldn’t follow him to hell and back? Leaders of Character are people we want to follow and emulate. They inspire us to be better than we would be without them in our lives.
Why Don’t Leader’s Grow?
Consider the billions of dollars spent by individuals and organizations on books and seminars focused on topics such as trust, team building, coaching, communications, and the like. Why have these resources been largely ineffective?
One critical reason can often be traced back to the pride of the leaders they were meant to help. Prideful leaders tend to refuse to admit mistakes, weaknesses, or a need for growth. They don’t listen to others because they don’t see the necessity, or they believe they have more important things to do.
Leaders such as this don’t need to be presented with better strategies for team building or coaching, or with skills to enhance communication or human resource development. Leaders drowning in their own self-promotion, arrogance, and insecurities need a change of character—their own! Without that, nothing else will have any significant impact. Problems will remain, and solutions will be elusive.
To counter pride, we need Humility. And Humility is a foundational Habit of Character that makes the habits of Duty, Selflessness, and Positivity character strengths for a Leader of Character. Just like Courage, Humility is critical to treating the disease that hinders the development of Leaders of Character. We must exercise and build this muscle to have strong enough character to lead our teams, our families, and our countries.
“To be successful you must be interested in finding the best way, not in having your way.” – Coach John Wooden
The Bottom Line:
The humble Leaders of Character are the countercultural revolutionaries we should rally behind because they are not concerned about their position. They are not obsessed with getting the spotlight. Instead they believe and act like “It’s not about me.”
If I told you I wanted you to meet a unique person who was confident, able to admit mistakes, a good listener, and mature enough to admit he or she had room to grow, would you want to meet such a person? Wouldn’t you want to spend time with that individual? Doesn’t that sound like someone we would all want to follow? To become such a person, we must make the daily choice to be humble.
These few, small exercises in Humility that follow will help you build the Habit of Character I define as Humility. It is a muscle that needs to be exercised to prepare us to defeat our arrogance or insecurity when we get tested. The big tests are coming! Will your character be in shape and ready?
Overall
- Don’t talk about yourself unless specifically asked. Make the other person the center of the conversation.
- Call your waiter or waitress by their name. Ask for it if they do not offer it.
- Return your grocery cart to the stack versus leaving it for the attendant to handle.
- Don’t fight to win an argument. Fight to solve the problem.
At Work
- Ask an employee to teach you more about her job.
- Don’t worry about who gets credit for anything anymore.
- Give credit to others and avoid “I” when discussing accomplishments.
- Ask your peers or employees for one thing they would change about you. Then don’t argue, and work on changing.
- Admit to a supervisor, peer, or employee when you are wrong.
At Home
- Ask your spouse or children for one thing they would change about you, then don’t argue with them, just start working on changing.
- Ask for forgiveness from your spouse or from your children.
Question:
What other behaviors can we do to exercise Humility?