Dad:  “Did you do what your mom asked you to do?’

Son:  (Without looking at his dad.) “Yep.”

Dad:  (Eye brow raised) “Excuse me?”

Son:  (Starting to walk away and dripping with annoyance) “Yes Dad. I did what mom asked me to do!”

Dad:  (Firmly) “Hey bud! Look at me.”

The boy turns and looks at his dad.

Dad: “Your attitude is a choice.  Make a different choice.  Understand me.”

Son:  “Yes sir.”

That was a scene that played out in my home with my dad sometime in the early 1980’s.  Being the son of an Army Ranger who was a future general did not prevent me from having a bad attitude at times.  It should have, but it didn’t.

My Dad Gave Me My Diploma

I now see my father’s wisdom in his simple statement:  “Your attitude is a choice.  Make a different choice.”  In fact, most of this blog comes directly lessons I learned from my dad, who was The Master of The Sword at West Point for 24 years.

Is It A Bad Attitude or A Bad Mood?  The Answer is Yes!

A bad mood is not an uncontrollable tempest.  “There’s a storm coming and everyone just has to deal with it!”  When someone claims to be in a bad mood, it is a decision they have made to be crabby.

When I look back on most of my bad moods, they stem from a decision I made to wallow in the emotion instead of fighting to change it.  When I make the choice to allow my negative emotions to take over, my bad mood becomes a bad attitude.  It may be my choice, but it affects everyone around me.

People who act like it is their right to be in a bad mood, consistently make the choice to bathe themselves in self-pity and subject others to the whims of their emotions. 

How can I be sure?  Here is a list of people I’ve met who probably deserve to have a bad attitude but made the choice not to.

• A mom I know who is always cheerful but is caring for a severely disabled child.
• A cheerful greeter at church, whose wife of 40 years no longer remembers his name.
• A mother who lost her son in battle, that cheerfully reminds me about when he and I were teenagers together.
• A man who lost his wife unexpectedly and discusses how the loss changed him for the positive.

These people all made a choice to not be defined by their circumstances, or the emotions they were feeling about their circumstances.  When I think of these people, I realize I need to choose my attitude each day.

An epiphany moment happened two summers ago after a missions trip to Uganda when I realized many Ugandans were praying to have one of my bad days.

Changing A Bad Habit Can Change Who We Are

I believe that our character is made up of our habits.  Our habits are based on our choices.  The problem with bad attitudes is each time I choose a bad attitude, it becomes easier to choose it the next time.

But the same can be said for choosing a good attitude as well.  The people I listed above obviously formed a habit of choosing to be positive people despite their circumstances.

Habits can be changed.  I can change my habits, one new choice at a time.  If I habitually choose to be in a good mood, I will be a person with a good attitude.

• If I wake up In a bad mood:  Make the choice to change it.
• If someone or something causes my mad mood:  Make the choice change it.
• If I am habitually in a bad mood:  Make the choice to change it.

Most bad attitudes originate from a feeling of self-pity.  Pity is a very noble emotion.  Self-pity is perhaps the most ignoble of emotions.  Self-pity severely distorts our perception of the world around us.

A bad attitude stems from a choice I made to allow my emotions or my circumstances define who I am that day.  When I choose a bad attitude, I choose to submit everyone around me to my negativity.

If I make that choice often enough, I become a person no one wants around.  Who wants to be around someone who habitually has a bad attitude?  My attitude affects not just me, but everyone I come in contact with.

The Bottom Line:

My dad grew up in an orphanage. Not because he was an orphan, but because after his mother died, his father dropped the kids off there and left for good.  I don’t remember my dad ever having a bad day.  I learned as much about attitude from watching him as anything he said.

I thank my dad for shaping my approach to life.  He never wavered in reinforcing his belief that I could choose my attitude each day.  I formed a habit of choosing to be a positive person no matter what my mood may have been.  To this day, others often comment on my positive approach to life.

Shouldn’t we all, as parents, aspire to shape our kids lives in the same way?  To do this, we all must set the example for our kids. It starts with shaping our own lives first.

My father likes to say, “Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?”  I hope mine is.  I hope yours will be too.

Question:

When has someone else’s contagious attitude changed your mood for the better or for the worse?